This is the acknowledgement of a debt which does not get time-barred on account of the law of limitation. Only cidentally, it is also a preface to this book.
She rocks the boat, giving an impression that She is tilting it. Sometimes She does tilt it; on other occasions, She stops short. But all the while She holds it. She plays unceasingly. And She does so in Her own discipline. She pushes a person to the precipice and then decides to bring him back so that, as Her instrument, he may perform the task that She has chosen him for.
In both, pushing and pulling back, She only dispenses Her grace. Blinded by false ego, when an individual assumes the arrorgance of learning and wisdom and, like a fool, believes that it is he who is the doer - ahańkāra vimudhātmā kartāhamiti manyate - She, deciding to restore to him his essential humility, pushes him gently but firmly enough to send him to the precipice. Since, however, She still has Her work for him, She brings him back leaving with him the realization that he is just the instrument - nimittamātra². Even in assigning the tasks, She identifies the priorities, taking upon Herself the burden of decision.
In the autumn of 2009, when I was deeply involved in writing a treatise on Śrīrāmacaritamānasa of Gosvāmī Tulasīdāsa, I suddenly suffered from an ailment serious enough to shatter all plans and activities. I was completely bed-ridden, partly in hospital but mostly at home.
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